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Suami Menikah Lagi Tanpa Izin Istri Pertama, Bolehkah ?

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Suami Menikah Lagi Tanpa Izin Istri Pertama, Bolehkah ?

Suami Menikah Lagi Tanpa Izin Istri Pertama, Bolehkah ?

Suami Menikah Lagi Tanpa Izin Istri Pertama, Bolehkah ?

Apabila suami ingin menikah lagi dan melakukan poligami, tidak disyaratkan harus minta izin dan minta ridha istri pertamanya. Tidak ada rukun atau syarat poligami itu yang mengharuskan izin kepada istri apabila suami ingin menikah lagi dan poligami.

Penjelasan Fatwa Al-Lajnah Ad-Daimah
 ليس بفرض على الزوج إذا أراد أن يتزوج ثانية أن يرضي زوجته الأولى ، لكن من مكارم الأخلاق وحسن العشرة أن يطيِّب خاطرها بما يخفف عنها الآلام التي هي من طبيعة النساء في مثل هذا الأمر ، وذلك بالبشاشة وحسن اللقاء وجميل القول وبما تيسّر من المال إن احتاج الرضى إلى ذلك .

“Bukanlah suatu kewajiban bagi suami apabila ingin menikah lagi untuk meminta ridha istrinya yang pertama, akan tetapi di antara kemulian akhlak dan muamalah rumah tangga yang baik, seorang suami harus menghibur istri dan meringankan kesedihan (akibat dipoligami) karena ini merupakan tabiat wanita dalam perkara ini (poligami). Hal tersebut dengan bermanis muka, bergaul dengan baik, perkataan yang indah dan memberikan harta yang bisa membuatnya ridha.” [Fatwa Al-Lajnah Ad-Daimah 19/53]

Hendaknya Suami Memberi Tahu Istri
Khusus di zaman ini, dengan mudahnya komunikasi dan internet, seorang suami hendaknya harus memberitahu istrinya apabila ia akan melakukan poligami dan menikah lagi. Di zaman ini sangat sulit untuk menyembunyikan. Sangat sulit bagi suami tersebut adil dan membagi hari di antara istri-istrinya apabila ia tidak memberi tahu istri pertamanya. Sangat sulit ia berlaku adil dengan membagi hari secara sembunyi-sembunyi atau “kucing-kucingan” dengan istri pertamanya. Bisa jadi ia akan banyak berbohong untuk menyembunyikannya.

Syaikh Abdul Aziz Bin Baz rahimahullah menjelaskan,

أما في البلد الواحدة فلا بد من العلم حتى يقسم بينهما وحتى يعدل بينهما، وليس له أن يوهمها أنه لا زوجة له، بل يعلم ويخبرها بأن عنده زوجة؛ لأن هذا من الخداع

“Adapun apabila tinggal di satu negara/tempat, maka suami harus memberitahu (istri pertamanya), agar bisa membagi hari antara keduanya dan adil kepada keduanya. Janganlah ia membuat kesan (menyembunyikan) bahwa ia tidak punya istri lainnya, akan tetapi ia harus memberitahukan istrinya bahwa ia telah memiliki istri lainnya. (apabila tidak memberi tahu) ini merupakan bentuk penipuan.”

Catatan Penting untuk Suami
Bagi suami yang akan melakukan poligami hendaknya benar-benar bertakwa dan mempertimbangkan kemampuan melaksanakan poligami. Apabila ia tidak mampu adil, maka ia mendapatkan ancaman sebagai berikut: Rasulullah shallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda,

مَنْ كَانَتْ لَهُ امْرَأَتَانِ فَمَالَ إِلَى إِحْدَاهُمَا جَاءَ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَشِقُّهُ مَائِلٌ.

“Barangsiapa memiliki dua istri, kemudian ia lebih condong kepada salah satu dari keduanya, maka ia akan datang pada hari Kiamat dalam keadaan pundaknya miring sebelah.” [HR. Abu Dawud, Lihat Irwaa-ul Ghaliil no. 2017]

Apabila ia tidak mampu berbuat adil maka janganlah ia melakukan poligami. Allah Ta’ala berfirman,

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا فِي الْيَتَامَىٰ فَانْكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰ أَلَّا تَعُولُوا

“Dan jika kamu takut tidak akan dapat berlaku adil terhadap (hak-hak) perempuan yatim (bilamana kamu mengawininya), maka kawinilah wanita-wanita (lain) yang kamu senangi: dua, tiga, atau empat. Kemudian jika kamu takut tidak akan dapat berlaku adil, maka (kawinilah) seorang saja, atau budak-budak yang kamu miliki. Yang demikian itu adalah lebih dekat kepada tidak berbuat aniaya.” [An-Nisaa’/4: 3].

Ia juga harus memiliki harta yang cukup untuk melakukan poligami. Artinya, janganlah menikah dengan modal nekat saja tanpa mempertimbangkan kemampuan ia dalam hal harta dan memberikan nafkah, karena menikah itu perlu nafkah. Sebagaimana hadits anjuran bagi pemuda untuk menikah apabila ia telah memiliki berkal harta untuk menikah.

Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda

يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ، مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ مِنْكُمُ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ، فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَـرِ، وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَـرْجِ. وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ، فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ.

“Wahai para pemuda, barangsiapa di antara kalian yang mampu menikah, maka menikahlah. Karena menikah lebih dapat menahan pandangan dan lebih memelihara kemaluan. Dan barangsiapa yang tidak mampu, maka hendaklah ia berpuasa; sebab puasa dapat menekan syahwatnya.” [HR. Bukhari]

Ibnu Daqiq Al’Ied menjelaskan,

 واستطاعة النكاح :القدرة على مؤنة المهر والنفقة .

“Yaitu kemampuan nikah: kemampuan memberika mahar dan menafkahi.” [Ahkamul Ihkam syarh Umadatul Ahkam hal. 552]

Masih ada beberapa hal lagi yang perlu diperhatikan oleh soerang suami apabila ingin poligami dan salah satu yang cukup penting adalah mental untuk melakukan poligami. Ada beberapa orang yang sanggup adil dan punya harta banyak tetapi tidak punya mental kuat untuk melakukan poligami.

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