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Suami Telah Meninggal, Bolehkah Istri Bersumpah untuk Setia dan Tak Menikah Lagi?

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Suami Telah Meninggal, Bolehkah Istri Bersumpah untuk Setia dan Tak Menikah Lagi?

Suami Telah Meninggal, Bolehkah Istri Bersumpah untuk Setia dan Tak Menikah Lagi?


Suami Telah Meninggal, Bolehkah Istri Bersumpah untuk Setia dan Tak Menikah Lagi?

Jadi janda? Status yang satu ini mungkin bagi sebagian besar perempuan terdengar sangat mengerikan. Betapa tidak, di masyarakat Timur yang sebagian besar masih menganggap bahwa perkawinan yang sempurna adalah bersatunya sepasang suami istri,

status janda adalah kondisi yang sebisa mungkin dihindari, namun sebagai manusia perjalanan hidup tetap harus dijalani meski ditinggal suami karena meninggal dunia atau bercerai yang bisa terjadi pada siapa saja.

Menyandang status janda bagi perempuan di negeri ini berarti menanggung beban cibiran, anggapan miring, dan kesendirian memikul beban materi maupun psikis. Mayoritas, pengakuan mereka yang hidup menjanda adalah sulitnya mendapatkan tempat yang layak dalam masyarakat. Padahal, status sebagai janda tak berbeda dengan status gadis, perjaka, istri, suami, atau duda sekalipun.

Berbicara mengenai janda, apalagi yang telah ditinggal menghadap Sang Kuasa oleh suami, banyak dari mereka yang tak sanggup menahan luka, sehingga membuat para wanita tersebut berani mengambil sumpah untuk tetap setia kepada si suami dan tak akan menikah dengan pria lain. Lantas, bagaimana dalam Islam memandang hal tersebut?

Bila suami sudah meninggal dunia maka si istri berhak menikah lagi dengan pria lain setelah masa iddahnya sudah selesai. Tidak ada hak pihak mantan suami meminta janji agar istrinya tidak menikah lagi ketika dia meninggal dunia, begitupun istri ke suaminya.

Janji semacam ini tidak dibolehkan oleh Nabi shallallahu alaihi wa sallam sebagaimana dalam hadits yang diriwayatkan oleh Ath-Thabarani dalam Al-Mu’jam Ash-Saghir dari Ummu Mubasysyir Al-Anshariyyah bahwa Rasulullah melamarnya (dalam riwayat lain melamarnya untuk Zaid bin Haritsah) maka dia berkata, “Aku telah berjanji kepada suamiku untuk tidak menikah lagi sepeninggalnya.” Maka Rasulullah besabda, “Itu tidak boleh.”

Dalam riwayat Al-Bukhari di Tarikh Al-Kabir Rasulullah mempersilahkannya untuk memilih dan boleh menikah lagi.[3] Hadits ini dianggap hasan oleh Al-Albani dalam As-Silsilah Ash-Shahihah, no. 608.

Apabila sudah terlanjur bersumpah menyebut nama Allah ketika mengucap janji itu maka harus dibatalkan dengan membayar kaffarah sumpah. Ini berdasarkan hadits dari Abu Hurairah, bahwa Rasulullah shallallahu alaihi wa sallam bersabda,

“Barangsiapa yang bersumpah dengan suatu janji lalu dia melihat ada yang lebih baik dari janji itu maka hendaklah dia melakukannya (yang membatalkan janji itu –penerj) dan membayar kaffarah atas sumpahnya tadi.” (HR. Muslim, no. 1650).
Kaffarah sumpah adalah sebagaimana yang dijelaskan detil dalam Al-Quran surah Al-Maidah ayat 89 yaitu memberi makan sepuluh orang miskin atau memberi pakaian ke sepuluh orang miskin, atau membebaskan budak. Kalau tidak sanggup maka berpuasa selama tiga hari.

Apabila datang lelaki shalih yang melamar maka hendaklah diterima supaya tidak terkena ancaman Rasulullah dalam sebuah hadits,

Ulasan terkait : Menurut Rasulullah, Ciri Penghuni Surga Itu Adalah Mereka yang Hatinya Seperti Burung!

“Jika ada yang datang melamar seorang yang kamu ridhai agama dan akhlaknya maka nikahkanlah dia. Kalau tidak kalian lakukan niscaya akan terjadi fitnah (keguncangan) dan kerusakan di bumi.” (HR. At-Tirmidzi, no. 1085).

Belajar dari Ummu Salamah, alangkah indah bila pernikahan seorang janda Muslimah lebih baik dari pernikahan sebelumnya. Hal ini sangat penting karena seorang janda pasti telah memiliki pengalaman hidup bersama suaminya yang terdahulu. Bila pernikahan selanjutnya tidak lebih baik dibanding pernikahan yang sebelumnya, pasti akan banyak penyesalan yang menjelma.

Karena itu, seorang janda Muslimah sebaiknya lebih berhati-hati dalam memilih calon suami yang akan mendampinginya. Ibunda Khadijah pun mengajarkan yang demikan. Beliau sangat selektif dalam memilih pasangan hidupnya. Hampir seluruh pemuka bangsa Arab menawarkan pinangan, tetapi beliau tetap diam dalam keagungannya.

Bersabarlah. Tetaplah istikamah dalam kebaikan yang senantiasa kita hadirkan dalam setiap langkah. Sebab, Islam telah mengajarkan melalui teladan Ibunda Khadijah, Ummu Salamah, dan Cut Nyak Dhien bahwa menikah kembali sama sekali bukan karena alasan sepele. Melainkan karena alasan-alasan besar untuk mewujudkan cita-cita yang besar pula.

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